GRACIAS

"Psychologists studying the effects of positive emotions say gratitude can improve our sense of happiness  if we turn it into a conscious and regular practice."

I read an article about happiness and it included a quiz consisting of 15 questions that were designed to let you know if you were “wired” toward happiness or if you were just a miserable person (not in those words of course). After answering each question they told you if you were right or wrong and then elaborated on the response. The quote at the beginning of this post was in response to the question, “Which is more important to happiness, A) Pleasure or B) Gratitude and of course I got it wrong allowing my “man instinct” to automatically select Pleasure. But by the time I hit the button I had already realized my mistake.

Yes, Gratitude has a larger and more lasting effect on happiness than pleasure. Once I took a moment to consider what they were saying it made complete sense and seemed so obvious and yet, I got the question wrong. Like the quote says, it can improve our sense of happiness if we turn it into a conscious and regular practice, meaning if we live our day to day lives appreciating what we have as opposed to dwelling on what we don’t have, then of course we will be happier as a result.

To use an exaggerated example; imagine waking up every morning and genuinely being thankful for EVERYTHING; the gift of waking up, the alarm clock that awakened you, the hot water to shower, the food to nourish your body, the gas to get to work, the WORK to have to get to, etc. By the time you were done being thankful you’d have no more time or energy to worry about the big screen t.v. you can’t afford or that special someone that won’t return your affections. Like I said, an exaggerated example but that is the gist. Gratitude for the blessings we have can be a fruitful and limitless source of happiness if we truly embrace the concept.

I definitely subscribe to the idea that happiness starts from within before all else.  And this concept is a step towards that type of enlightenment.

~Cp

DISGUST

"Records state that four photographs in the phone's memory chip showed the violation of the youngster wearing a diaper and a yellow sun dress while she rode in a dark blue stroller..." - Article

When I read this headline it took a lot to continue on to the rest of the article. The most eloquent of speakers and craftiest of writers would and should have a hard time coming up with the right words to adequately express the emotion that ran through them after hearing a story like this. Now, I watch enough news to know that unfortunately his isn’t exactly a once in a generation crime, but no matter how many times you hear about something like this, it hits you in a way as if it was the first time you’d ever heard of such a crime.

I don’t necessarily subscribe to the whole “end of days”, doomsday, revelations mode of thinking that’s becoming increasingly popular these days, however, incidents like this definitely help me understand why others believe it. Someone who would do this to a child is deeply troubled and in a dark, evil place and my first inclination is to consider how he became that way. Whatever psychological explanation or social dysfunction you want to apply to this sicko, there’s no denying that somehow, someway, the society he grew up in, the society we’re raising our children in had a part in his transformation from a man to a monster. That’s what really worries me.

Evil men, monsters, whatever you like to call them have been around forever but is it me or are they rearing their ugly heads more and more these days? I don’t know, maybe thanks to forensics and modern technology we’re just better at catching them. Either way every time one pops up on the news or the police blotter it paints another ugly stroke of the world we live in. As a father of two (including a two year-old) words can’t really express how this article makes me feel. I can only hope I’m wrong about my assessment that we live in a world that cultivates these kinds of monsters; that guys like Grzybowicz are an extreme example of what’s out there and not an example of what could be living right next door.  

~Cp

DISCIPLINE

“Discipline is the bridge between Goals and Accomplishment” – Jim Rohn

Have you ever set a New Year’s Resolution for yourself and had every intention to meet that goal or at least try your very best to reach it only to look up one day and an entire year has passed and you're no closer to that goal than when you set it? Don’t worry it happens to the best of us. The problem is that sometimes we fall into the trap of believing that the goal we set for ourselves is too difficult to accomplish or too much for us to handle, when in fact our strikeout has nothing to do with our ability to hit the ball but instead it revolves around our ability to wait for the right pitch…that takes discipline. If you want to lose 100 pounds you can. The only thing stopping you is you. You and your inability to put away the junk food and to exercise regularly…that takes discipline. If I want to write an Oscar winning screenplay I most certainly can because I know the talent is there. What I’m not so confident in is my will power when it’s time to turn off the television or resist the urge for a nap, all in the name of writing, writing, and more writing… that takes discipline.

It's the kind of discipline that comes from having that single goal on the brain constantly, not allowing yourself to be distracted by the “other” things that we indulge in every day. The kind of discipline that fuels your motivation and vice versa, making everything else not associated with that goal…irrelevant.  And lastly, discipline trumps any excuses because a disciplined person won’t allow obstacles to become excuses. So when the new year rolls around and you look back disappointed because another resolution bit the dust, don’t adjust the resolution, look deeper at yourself and whether or not you had a plan and were disciplined enough to stick to that plan no matter what. And that's when you'll be ready to cross that bridge between setting your goal and accomplishing it.

~Cp

RETROSPECT

“One cannot and must not try to erase the past merely because it does not fit the present.”  ~Golda Meir

As I continue to get older (thankfully) the urge to reflect on the past gets stronger as I indulge in the “good times” that make up the history of a person that isn’t around much anymore. The simple life that consisted of responsibilities like paying rent and… uh… making it to work on time and… um… some other stuff I’m sure, the point being that the “load” was a lot lighter and there was a greater focus on having fun, doing what was fun, and finding the fun wherever I could. A lifestyle like that makes for memories worth revisiting from time to time if for no other reason than to get a good laugh and remind yourself of that time that was a little simpler, not better or worse, just…simpler.

Some people might argue that dwelling in the past prevents you from moving forward with life but I say if one quick trip down memory lane reminds you of a life experience that you cherish and makes you want to reach out to that old friend you haven’t spoken to in years, then how could that possibly be a bad thing? My mental time machine serves me well, reminding me of the important people in my life, those who were there back then and those that are still here now, reminding me of who I am deep down beneath all of the “grown up” stuff and responsibilities. So I take my trips, some longer than others down memory lane and I’m always careful not to get lost on my way back, making sure I don’t ever lose sight of what my life is TODAY and the role I play in it. Because one day, the memories I’m creating now will help me to appreciate the new stages of my life that are still to come.

~ Cp